Meet Your Takers

Blake Griffin: The Clippers? THE CLIPPERS? You have got to be freaking kidding me! I mean, at least the Grizzlies have O.J. Mayo. I'm doomed.

[Phone rings]

Who could that be?

Hello?


Zach Randolph: Hello? Is this Blake Griffin?

Blake Griffin: Yes, this is he.

Zach Randolph: Hey Blake, it's me, Zachary Randolph. I just wanted to check in with you and see how you were feeling. Big night for you, sir.

Blake Griffin: Yeah, I guess. Can you tell me a bit about the Clippers?

Zach Randolph: Oh, Blake. The Clippers are quite splendid. You are going to love it here.

Blake Griffin: Really? I, uh, wasn't expecting you to say that.

Zach Randolph: Nah, we just have a bad reputation. It's great. Really great.

Blake Griffin: How are the other guys on the team?

Zach Randolph: They're awesome. Chris Kaman is my bud. He's hilarious. And this one time, me and Baron stayed up until 10 PM playing Mario. 10 PM! And Marcus Camby is always doing jumping jacks. Oh, and Eric Gordon. He's a peach.

Blake Griffin: And Coach Dunleavy?

Zach Randolph: Coach Dunleavy is the best person I've ever known. He's kind, snuggly, and the best tactician this side of Napoleon.

Blake Griffin: Wow, that sounds great. I'm excited. I can't wait to meet you guys.

Zach Randolph: And we can't wait to meet you.

Blake Griffin: Thanks, Zach. Take care.

Zach Randolph: Take care, bud.

[Hangs up the phone]

Blake Griffin: Wow, I was not expecting the conversation to go like that. Maybe it's not so bad after all.

Somewhere in California...

Mike Dunleavy: *releases Randolph from chokehold* Good job, Zach.

Zach Randolph: YO COACH WHAT WAS THAT YOU CANT TREAT ME LIKE THAT IM YO FRANCHISE IM YO FRANCHISE THAT WAS STRAIGHT UP WEAK IM GULLY IM A GROWN MAN YOU CANT TREAT ME LIKE THAT.

Mike Dunleavy: *elbows Randolph in the chest* Shut up, punk.