Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Renaming Glen Davis

It has to stop. It has to stop now. Glen Davis can no longer be called Big Baby.

I don't care how it started. I don't care if his mother calls him that. I don't care if he likes it. I don't care.

But I do care about changing it.

The nickname is a media menace. I don't know if you read, but I do. I read many newspapers and weblogs and Twitters. And much like some Orlando Magic fans, I find myself maddened by the constant cliches and jokes. Big Baby fosters horrible journalism. Seriously, this stuff is worse than Plaschke, although there are many people who are actually doing good things with it. As for the bad, I do not have a specific example, but I will write one that I am sure has appeared in many, many places. Are you ready?

Last night, Glen Davis was no longer a Big Baby. Last night, Glen Davis became a man.

BOOM! See what I did there? Totally unexpected.

It doesn't even describe him. Whatever he has become in these playoffs--and yes, he has changed--he is no longer Big Baby. He is a 17 foot jump shot. Who pushes kids.

I am not clever enough to create an appropriate nickname. That's why I leave it up to you, internets. Make a new nickname to save us from this scourge. Please take up this mantle. I can't do it alone.